Friday, July 6, 2012

No Ridin' Solo for Star Wars Virgins

It having just been the 4th of July, I will say it does make me happy to have all the freedoms that our country allows. Specifically freedom of speech and press. For those freedoms allow the amazingly horrible posts you can find online. Especially on sights like craigslist-where the crazies go to sell their crappy car, buy a used stained mattress, get employed in a massage parlor, rant about a local park's squirrels, and make friends with someone else who also likes dressing as a furry and painting pottery.
Thanks to a friend of mine, this classic craigslist gem "Wanna break my Star Wars Cherry?" came to my attention. The post is from someone who claims to have never seen the Sci-Fi classic and is now ready and willing and looking for a geek sherpa to guide them through the galaxy far far away so they don't have to go Han Solo. "Size matters"--tv screen size that is-so no small screens need apply. And if you are into watching someone's jaw drop at learning the Darth Vader is Luke's father be prepared-you'll undoubtedly loose control of your light saber sitting next to this Star Wars virgin. This will be a "spiritual ephiphany" for you. That's a big claim Star Wars virgin-the first time is just never that good.
Still if you think you might be Boba Fett for this job here's the ad on Best of Craigslist:
May the force be with you all in this web galaxy of free speech. And remember-respond carefully to all craigslist postings-there are a lot of weirdos out there. Ok. I'm off to find a date for tomorrow night on Missed Connections.
Help me put it in (the DVD player) Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

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