Monday, March 24, 2014

Too Sexy for the Gym

I just got back from vacation. And if you are anything like me, vacation is about taking a break from any and all responsibilities including the responsibility to take care of yourself. Sit in the sun for hours? Sounds smart. Eat ice cream for breakfast and wash it down with a sugary cocktail? Yes, please. The truth is, overall your vacation quickly becomes a time to eat all sorts of food you would never touch at home knowing that the only exercise you're getting is hoisting yourself off your pool chair.

So now I'm back from that spring breakdown of good judgement, and thinking about how much I should be going to the gym to repair some damage. But then I read about this woman who allegedly got kicked out of the gym for having a slamming body that was intimidating others, and I thought how embarrassing it will be when the gym asks me and my slamming body to leave. So I may as well nestle back into the couch for the last days of winter hibernation.
Oh, if only losing weight was as easy as losing an airplane......
Tiffany Austin of Richmond, CA was working out at her local Planet Fitness in a cute pink, midriff-baring ensemble when an employee came up to her and said ""excuse me we've had some complaints you're intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?” Tiffany agreed to put on the free t-shirt they offered to her to cover up, but then she reported that another employee came up to her to again cover up to stop looking so awesome. It was at this point she left and demanded they refund her gym membership.
Planet Fitness has responded to these allegations saying it was not that she was too fit, but that her outfit (seen above) was too scandalous.
But as reported in Huffington Post from Gawker, it doesn't seem too far off that Planet Fitness, the gym that claims it is all about being "gymtimidation free" with "no lunks," would body shame someone for showing off being super fit. In fact, Planet Fitness gyms have an alarm that can be pressed if you perceive someone to be working out too hard, like this guy-
Planet Fitness' website says that it is a place where "members can relax, get in shape, and have fun without being subjected to the hard-core, look-at-me attitude that exists in too many gyms."
Think about their commercials

So apparently they mean it. If you think you are going to just prance into a Planet Fitness, showing off the fruits of your labors, taking "healthies" and numbers, forget it. This is not a gym for those kind of antics. It's a place for diddly squats.
Guess, I've made the right choice to just stay home. I wouldn't want all the BaCardio work I put in over vacation to make those people leisurely strolling on the treadmill feel bad about themselves.
I'll just stay home and do my favorite work out video.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

On that note....

Speaking of love finding apps/websites and "glitter" videos-some shameless self promotion of this fun parody I shot on the commercials for the dating website How About We.

Finding More Love From Dating Apps

3nder. How to pronounce that name isn't the only thing I am totally confused by.
This is a new cell phone app that, in the vein of Grindr and Tinder, allows you to find sex and relationships in the digital age. 3nder's gimmick is it allows you to find your dream threesome. Whether you are already in a relationship and looking for someone else to join you or if you are single looking to mingle, this app is there for you.
I don't know, maybe I'm just old fashioned. Or old. But I am really uncomfortable with this. I understand and totally support sexual freedom and fantasies (and am not prudishly opposed to a threesome,) but somehow an app like this feels.....well, creepy. But maybe that is unfair and judgey and exactly why there needs to  be an app like this-to, as 3nder says in its marketing, to help people looking for a threesome who are "discriminated from society the same way gay people were 15 years ago."
In all fairness, I am equally creeped out by Grindr and Tinder, and all dating websites.
Love in the time of technology is strange. I am going to stick to using the hot bar at Whole Foods as my prowling grounds. Best singles bar in town. Nothing helps you confirm the sighting of a single man better than seeing him scoop Mac & Cheese into a to go box. And you now know that he likes cheese so you have something in common! And if you are looking to add more to the mix, maybe somebody making a salad is looking to be tossed in. See, who needs these crazy apps?

Puddles Goes Glitter

It seems near impossible to create something that is both good, unique, and creative. Hundreds of videos are uploaded online everyday and most of them are garbage. But then there are those diamonds in the rough that sparkle even more because of how weirdly wonderful they are. Puddles the Sad Clown's covers of Lorde songs are exactly that-weirdly wonderful. This large clown with a "golden voice" takes Lorde's haunting songs and adds even more soul and a vintage vibe to them. Plus, he's a clown. (No shortage here.) I am so obsessed I have watched this no less than ten times and it is not even 9am yet.

Also, I want to let you know that, thanks to the influence of my friend who hates the word viral ("sounds so sad, so sick"), I have decided that the new term for videos, or anything, that spreads on the internet should be called glitter. Everyone knows glitter spreads everywhere and it just sounds so much more awesome, and less diseased, to be creating a video to go glitter.