Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Strippers Shocked to be Left High and Dry By RNC

No one prepared for the RNC like the strippers. As reported on CNN, the GOP usually means great business for strippers. Republicans are statistically more likely to outspend Democrats heavily at topless bars and strip clubs according to the head of The Association of Club Executives which is an organization for the nation’s 4,000 “gentleman’s club” owners. In anticipation of the arrival of hundreds of pent up, wealthy, horny republicans, Tampa strip clubs added talent, new rooms and food menus. Clubs took out ads inviting GOP delegates "to party like a liberal" in a city where the "poles are open all night."
Maybe the mermaids were titillating enough, or it is the storm, or maybe the politicians are too worn out from all their pro-life and tax reform conversations, but for whatever reason, the fish aren't biting and the empty clubs are filled with frustrated owners and cranky strippers who are shocked that the conservatives aren't getting liberal. One dancer known as "Jill" whined to the Tampa Bay Times "So where is everyone? What is everyone doing? Are they sleeping? Republicans have money."
Sorry "Jill" looks like you won't be making your college tuition this week.

But one club, Thee DollHouse, did meet their expectations with an increase of visiting Republicans slipping their tax dollars into the panties of 'Sarah Paylin'. Not to be confused with the former Vice-President candidate who she greatly resembles, this is Lisa Ann, the adult film star of the 2008 "Who's Nailin Paylin?" She was brought into town special for the event to deliver the "stimulating keynote undress" and you betcha those boys were excited.

 Well we can only hope that these last few days will be lucrative for these strippers. With all the rain in town, it would be a shame for them to stay dry. Yep, I went there.

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