Thursday, August 2, 2012

Nobody Put Baby In a Newsfeed

Do you hate signing on to facebook and having to look at your friends' babies? Well now there's an app for that! Chris Baker has created a new Google Chrome extension called that "deletes babies from your News Feed permanently -- by replacing them with awesome stuff." And by awesome stuff they obviously mean cats. Seriously that's the default substitution. Chris Baker sounds like my kind of guy. Is he single?
Just think, you will never have to be ambushed by an album from some girl you went to high school with who has like 20 photos of her chubby baby- inexplicably dressed like a giant strawberry-bomb your cool and drool free newsfeed again.
I would much rather see cats in my newsfeed. But if cats aren't your cup of tea either, does offer you the opportunity to choose any "safe" image you want to replace. You could have pictures of bacon. And for maximum protection, the app knows what to block by picking up on key words like "cutest baby ever," "crawling," "looks like daddy." So assuming those aren't phrases that your non-baby bearing friends use, it will work perfectly.
I know as a young woman in my prime reproductive years I am supposed to look at these facebook babies and think how much I can't wait to have one and how cute they are. But most babies just look like aliens to me.
what you looking at?
Or I'm just appalled at what people think is funny to do to their baby. I mean there is no way these kids will look at photos like this when they are older and not want to hate their parents. And facebook with its captive like-clicking baby audience feeds this kind of creative abuse.

Now if only this technology could be used to stop other things in my newsfeed that I don't like-such as posts spoiling the Olympics and the annoying food porn shots of what people are eating. (Really you are eating sushi? How exotic. And the way you used that green hue in instagram for the photo really makes it more appetizing.) I'd also like an app to keep annoying posts with engagement ring hand shots and bride bitching out of my newsfeed. So basically my newsfeed would be all cats. Purrfect.

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