Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sex Is Apparently The Big Event in The Olympic Village

There has been much talk leading up to and during these Olympics about the athletes and their sex habits. I can understand why. Just watching the Olympics is enough to get you all hot and bothered. Imagine being there in that Olympic Village surrounded by all those virile men with their rippling muscles. And for the boys, those volleyball player chicks are wearing bikinis that don't leave much to he imagination. So it should come as no surprise that it was leaked that the Olympic Village is pretty much a prowling ground for hook ups. 150,000 condoms are provided and it is alleged that 70-75% of the athletes do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. One athlete confidentially told CNN that it's great because you don't even need a pick up line other than "Hey. What sport do you play?" The casual sex games seem to be just a part of the event. Even swimmer Ryan Lochte's mom strangely condoned this behavior saying he only has time for one night stands. (Though she later tried to re-phrase this, I think she knows what's up.)

And apparently the rumors may be true as a mysterious new stock of Kangaroo condoms appeared in the village. One of the athletes tweeted this picture of the reinforcements for "the gland downunder." But the Kangaroo condoms arrival on the scene is odd because these are not Durex, the official brand of the Olympics, and athletes and officials are not supposed to bring other products in. So where did these contraband condoms come from? And did those horny heros already use up 150,000 rubbers? I guess you have to be one of the sexy top athletes in the world to find out what 50 Shades of Gray kind of action is really going on behind closed doors in that Village. My prediction/hope: by the next Olympics we have a reality show taped from the Olympic Village that will be steamier and more ridiculous than Jersey Shore and the Bachelor.

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