Friday, October 5, 2012

Facebook Gets Feely

You know that warm and fuzzy feeling when your friend clicks like on the instagram photo of your dinner? What if that feeling could be real? What if every like on facebook was really a hug from that friend/acquaintance/co-worker/creep? Well now it can be thanks to those brilliant minds at MIT.
This is the "Like-A-Hug Vest."
And you will never look cooler or more like Marty McFly in Back to the Future than when you are wearing this.

Basically it connects to facebook and everytime you get a like, it inflates literally puffing you up with pride over being liked, and then, like a boa constrictor, it squeezes you. You can then return the embrace by hugging yourself and if your liker happens to be sporting one of these as well, they too will feel the squeeze. How precious.
So hugs aren't free. They cost a facebook like. And your dignity. And however ridiculously expensive this vest will cost if it hits the market.
Look, we all love a good cuddle. And we can't always have this guy around to scoop us into his strapping arms.
Florida pizza shop dude clicks like on Obama.
But is this vest the answer? Maybe it is for "Jack the Gripper." Remember him? The cuddling creep whose MO was approaching women while they were shopping by themselves, pretending to know them as a former neighbor, and then asking them for a hug under the pretense that it is his birthday? Maybe he could keep his hands to himself if he was wearing this vest to get his hug fix. Assuming he ever posts anything on facebook like-worthy. And the issue of our desperate need to obtain likes on facebook is a whole other issue.
I don't click like on this weird vest invention. I am convinced it will malfunction and squeeze me to death. I imagine it feeling like my whole body is in the upper arm wrap of a blood pressure tester.
Thanks MIT geniuses, but I'll just stick to fulfilling my snuggles and attention need the old fashioned hands-on way--standing on a street corner holding a "free hugs" sign. It's not prostitution unless I charge.

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