Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Go for the Gold

Hey single ladies and gold diggers-check out this man! He is rich, single, and ready to mingle. From his Ron Swanson moustache to his Mr. T blingin' chains, this could all be yours.
Datta Phuge is 32 year old Indian millionaire who loves gold so much that he had this sweet shirt made of 22 karat gold. And really, class and modesty is the name of the game here. Yep, I'm sure he's not compensating for any shortcomings or using his wealth to lure women in at all with this fashion statement. His shirt took two weeks with workers working 16 hours a day to make, cost $235,000, and weighs 7lbs. Oh, my heart be still.
Alright. There are so many problems here. First, is that this man clearly thinks that women are as simple minded as moths being drawn to light. Just because it's gold and sparkly, I don't feel the irrepressible need to come closer to your body, Datta.
Also, why did he demand this shirt be completed in a two week time with these poor workers creating spun gold like Rumplestiltskin at all hours of the night? He could not have waited like a month to hit the town in this masterpiece of la mode?
And how comfortable can wearing a shirt that ways 7lbs be? It would feel like a suit of armor. And isn't it hot in India? 7lbs would be like wearing three winter coats in a tropical climate. He'd be curry sweating profusely.
Finally, $235,000 is a whole lotta money. There are so many other things he could have done with his money that would have actually set a gold standard and lured me in. Including, but not limited to:
-Donating it to save endangered animals in India including elephants and tigers
-Donating it to children's hospitals in India-which is for the most part poverty striken
Oh, and let's not forget India's issues with violence against women, which have recently been a hot topic following the gang rape of a young female student in New Delhi. Maybe he could be using some of his money to help protect women, rather than further objectifying them by creating ridiculous haut couture that shows he thinks of women as shallow and superficial.
Ugh. So yeah, I'm going to file this silly goose Datta and his short-sleeved button down rotten gold egg he's laid in the category of "I'd rather be single than......"

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