Thursday, July 17, 2014

Arachnophobia Pyromania (And Why I Don't Keep Matches Around)


A man in Seattle burned down his house to get rid of a spider. Burned down his house. Totally normal. He didn't overreact at all.
The Huffington Post reported, "The man told firefighters that he saw a spider in his laundry room and decided the best way to take care of it was with a lighter and a can of spray paint." His homemade blow torch set the wall on fire and then the fire spread quickly from there. And as ridiculous as this sounds, this is not the first time a fire has been caused by arachnophobia.
So take this as a warning, if you see a terrifying spider in your house, avoid temptation to want to burn the evil out.
I kind of get it though. Last summer I had a horror movie worthy experience in my apartment when a bat died on my dining room light fixture. The bat had unknowingly been co-habitating with me for an indeterminate amount of time prior to its death. One night I came home and found hundreds of flies all over my ceiling and dining room.
Not an actual picture from my house, but this is so you can get the chilling visual.

At first, I thought maybe it was a summer bug infestation from something like a used wine glass left out, but then realized that a room covered in flies is in no way normal. Upon investigation, I found the rotting, dead bat on the light and commenced the freak out.
At that moment, with the hundreds of flies and a decomposing mammal, I really could understand just burning my place to the ground....but I didn't.
Though, to this day, if I see just one fly, I pretty much began screaming in a manic fit of terror.
And to protect myself from being a Huffington Post headline, I make sure I don't keep matches around.
Try to stay calm people.

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