Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I Hate Valentine's Day and Now You Will Too.

Much of the Northeast is covered in nothing less than 40 feet of snow which means as a shut in,  I have had plenty of time today to peruse the interwebs to find things to write about.
And this is what I decided you most needed to know about. You are welcome and I'm sorry.
Japanese women are allegedly tweeting about creating love potion chocolates for their Valentines using special ingredients such as period blood and hair.
Now, because of the absurdity of this, many have been speculating about the veracity of this disgusting trend, let's assume for a moment that what we read is true.
While, I find this absolutely revolting, and truthfully am questioning whether I'll be able to eat chocolate in the near future, I am also intrigued. Maybe this is why I am single this Valentine's Day -and all other Valentine's Day in recent past. Maybe, since I haven't been making chocolate spiked with my menstrual blood for my boyfriends, they leave me because they don't have a part of me inside them. That must be it.
The Japanese call homemade chocolate gifts for men "honmei choco," and they don't always have to have secret ingredients included. But when you read the tweets of these girls (in the article in link above) about what they are putting in their chocolate and why they are doing it-you will be scared.
It's weird that chocolate, the great savior of my PMS pain, is now being made into something disgusting that is giving me stomach pains. Why? Don't take chocolate from me!
Anyway, this concept, is not new. Historically, and throughout many cultures, a woman's period is considered sacred and powerful. In Cherokee tradition, menstrual blood can destroy a woman's enemies. And in Africa, menstrual blood is used in powerful magical charms. So it does not seem too far off base that women would use the blood and power of their V to try to cast a V-Day love spell.
Still, I am pretty sure that if I was a dude in Japan (or anywhere really), I would avoid the consumption of any and all chocolate gifts. Just in case. Stick to those conversation hearts. Period.
 *Also, I hope this post has effectively helped ruin this cheezy, overrated holiday for everyone.

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