Tomorrow is the big day.
Diamond-encrusted heart-soled stilettos
A chocolate portrait of my face
Price: about $85-150
A "Balthazar" of Bordeaux.
Only sold in a wine shop in the Dubai International Airport, this 12 liter bottle of wine also comes with a first class ticket to France for a private tour of its Chateau Margaux vineyard and dinner with the winemaker. That and the fact that it is 12 liters make that price seem absolutely reasonable. I refuse to get red wine mouth from sipping any other wine but this.
A bouquet of Kadapul flowers
Price: Considered Priceless
You've never heard of the Kadapul flower? You are a peasant. This rare flower is actually a form of a cactus and is only found in dark hidden places in Sri Lanka. It blossoms at night and emanates a beautiful, calming fragrance. But tragically, once it picked, it only lasts a couple of hours. Do not even attempt to give me plain old roses.
A gilded greeting card
These personalized cards from Miami-based Gilded Age Greetings are hand painted on calf vellum and adorned with diamonds, rubies, and sapphires with 23 karat gold lettering. Forget licking an envelope, you can save your tongue for other things. This masterpiece comes in its own silk box with complimentary silk gloves for handling. Screw you Hallmark.
Big Hunka Love Diamond Bear
And I'm telling you cheapskates right now, if you wait until the 15th none of these will be marked down like those bags of candy hearts.....And no lame excuses about it being canceled due to weather.
So here's hoping your Valentine's Day is the lavish kind that makes everyone feel envious of you on facebook. Because that's what it's all about right?