Thursday, March 7, 2013

Flying the Friendly Skies Now With Knives

I'm confused. The TSA released new rules regarding carry-on items which means as of April 25th, passengers may have in their possession things like small knives, ski poles, and a small baseball bat. Really?! Really? I still have to bag up my super small size liquid foundation and sunscreen and take my shoes off to get on the plane. But a knife and other sharp objects are totally cool.

Maybe this is some sort of reward for good behavior? The TSA is thanking us for not causing too much trouble in the friendly skies in recent years so now we can have our dangerous toys back?
It was reported that TSA spokesman David Castelveter said that this change will "help provide a better experience for travelers." Again, really? So sitting in an enclosed space during delays, and turbulence, and fatigue with passengers wielding their golf clubs and bats and knives will allow me to feel like I'm having a better experience?
I don't like this.
Want to make flying a better experience? Maybe allow me to bring my own water bottle on the plane so I don't have to buy a $7 bottle of water from the scalpers running shops in the airport. Or maybe you could stop airlines from charging extra in air for things like headphones or pillows or better snacks. Things like that would provide a better experience for travelers. Not sure sharp objects and large sticks better my already tense experience. Pretty much the only thing that betters my travel experience is valium. And lots of it. (Though I must warn you that too much valium may cause you to behave incredibly bizarrely in JFK airport, embarrassing your friends, and causing you to mock celebrity hairdresser Tabitha Coffey to her face telling her she looks like a bird. So watch out for that.)
But seriously, when it comes to flying, my paranoia is not unrealistic. The terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 still haunt everyone's mind as they are boarding a plane. And knowing that another passenger is wielding something that could be used as a weapon is chilling. An article Tuesday in the Washington Post, speaks with several family members of those killed in the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and all say they too are outraged, concerned and confused by these new TSA regulations. I mean, who needs to bring a pool cue onto a plane anyway?
Oh, also, this week a pilot coming in for a landing at JFK airport in NY spotted a mysterious drone flying only about 200 feet from his plane so..... that's great. Now we don't just to have to fear what and who is on the plane, it could also be about what is outside it.

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