Paint the Town Blue

Yep. It's a boy for Kate Middleton-who even super pregnant just looked like I do after eating a big lunch.

We do not know the name yet of the young prince, but all of London will celebrate by painting the town blue-literally-the fountains will have blue dyed water, iconic buildings will be lit in blue, and there will be blue fireworks. And across the pond, baby Blue Ivy will turn green with envy. Also, tomorrow there is to be the traditional multi-gun salute at Buckingham Palace. You know, all the usual pomp and circumstance.
I am not baby crazy so I am not dying to see this little nugget, but I'm sure he is a puckered up ball of sweetness that all the world will be gushing over. Brace yourselves, world. You'll be able to smell the baby powder and hear the oohs and ahhs across the miles.
But I will raise my Pimm's to the royal family tonight.

All Gold Things Must Come to an End

And with that, the 2012 Olympics come to an end. Was quite the fortnight of events and many new heroes were met and many lessons of sportsmanship in the digital age learned.
The Closing Ceremony on a whole was less of an acid trip than the Opening Ceremony but it was a constant battle between awesome and awful.
For example:
Awesome:
The Spice Girls zigga zig ahhh reunion performance.
Awful:
Having them cruise around on the roofs of sparkly cabs. They looked so nervous with every turn.
Awesome:
Tribute to Freddie Mecury and Queen playing.
Awful:
Jessie J (insisting on wearing sparkly flesh body suits all night) bursting in and destroying "We Will Rock You."

Awesome: Eric Idle's classic quirky comedy.
Awful:
What came across as borderline offensive culture mocking with the weird splicing in of dancers from India.

There was the awesomeness of Prince Ginger Charming watching. He was borrowing his brother's wife as a date for the night. If I had known he didn't have a date I would totally have gone and kept him company......
Anyway, of course there was the completely bizarre: Russell Brand singing, the bus turning into a giant, glowing octopus, and the face sculpture of John Lennon. But overall nothing as haunting as the images I'm still in therapy for from the Opening Ceremony.
But if the preview by Brazil for the 2016 Summer Games to be held in Rio de Janeiro is any indication of what is in store for us there, plan to be confused, bored, and visually overstimulated by what looks like it will be Carnivale on crack.
In the end, London deserves to sit back tomorrow morning, relax, and enjoy a giant cup of tea because they overall pulled of a wonderful Olympics. All the athletes, who I am sure are right now drunk and using the last of those Olympic Village condoms like crazy, should feel proud of themselves-especially Team USA who dominated with a record number of medals. And now NBC will return to their mediocre programming-look they are already attempting to shove a new sitcom down our throats.

Romney Makes a Bloody Wanker of Himself

Oh bollocks

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney contracted a horrible case of foot-in-mouth disease while in London. He most likely contracted this embarrassing ailment before leaving the country and airplane travel or sipping English breakfast tea just made it more severe, but the timing for a breakout of foot-in-mouth couldn't be worse as this is Romney's first trip abroad as the presumptive GOP presidential nominee. The foot-in-mouth's primary symptom caused Romney to publicly question how prepared London is for the start of the Olympics and his comments obviously got a sharp response from British Prime Minister David Cameron. He then caused snickering among the Brits when he said that he spent a great day in the "backside" of Downing Street, rather than the back garden. And because this disease just makes it impossible to say anything appropriate, his verbal diarrhea announced his meeting with MI6, the U.K. Secret Intelligence Service whose existence was only acknowledged by the British government in 1994.
No word as to whether or not Romney will seek treatment for this disease or if he will continue to be one of the hundreds of politicians it affects daily causing them embarrassment and difficulty whenever they open their mouths. Our thoughts are with his campaign staff in this time of panic.