Wine is Like Going to The Gym: I'll Drink to That

Science announced that a glass of red wine may have the same effects as one hour of working out.
The study is published here on the internet. Which means it is true. Because everything we read on the internet is true.
But this totally real study was conducted by University of Alberta (making this the most exciting thing to come out of Canada since Ryan Gosling) and found that wine contains a natural compound called resveratrol which improves "physical performance, heart function and muscle strength" in the same way that "you would see from extensive endurance exercise training."
While I was sort of disappointed to learn that they did not mean that sitting on my couch drinking red wine would have the other benefits of working out-namely not having a muffin top, it is pretty awesome to think that my nightly indulgence of a glass of wine is actually a good idea.
I also wish this benefit applied to white wine as well, seeing as I am a big fan of cheap bottles of buttery Chardonnay or Pinot Grigio for my turtle time.
But still, this is great news. Red wine is a performance enhancing beverage.
I'm going to start training hard.