Friday, June 20, 2014

Sexy Bad Boy-What's A Girl To Do?

This week, a man in Stockton, CA was arrested on felony weapon charges and his mugshot was posted to the Stockton Police's facebook page.
But the only part of this that matters is the fact that this criminal also happens to be an adonis.
With his tanned, perfect skin tone, captivating blue-green bedroom eyes, pouty plush lips, and chiseled jaw line his face seems more fitted for a Ralph Lauren ad in Vogue than a mug shot. But, alas, life isn't always fair.
Probably the worst part of all this was the posts by women commenting on this yummy specimen.
"Oh my god he can rob my house and 'assault' me anytime." 
-Seriously? He could break and enter your home, rob you, and rape you and you'd be ok with that because he's sexy? Yikes.
 "What prison? I wanna be locked up there."
-No, you don't. Trust me.
"I don't care what crime this one committed."
-Nothing matters but what a guy looks like. Obviously.
"He's hiding in my wardrobe. Daaayum."
-Yep. I know all my fantasies start with an armed convict hiding in my closet.
 Look, I get it. He's freaking beautiful. And I definitely dig that bad boy thing. But he is being arrested on felon weapon charges. And to me, that whole felony thing kind of makes him less desirable. Come on ladies, get your horny selves together. 
This is not the first time a mug shot has gone viral due to the the perp being super sexy. In 2010 a young woman was arrested for drunk driving in Florida and her Vogue-worthy mug was all over the internet by 2012 thanks to being turned into memes of "Attractive Convict."
This woman later ended up suing the background check website for using her picture in ads without compensation or permission.
At least men and women of the internet are equally guilty of objectifying. Yay equality.
If Attractive Convict girl is single maybe she and Hottie Mugshot Man can get together in Bonnie and Clyde sexy bliss.
Meanwhile ladies, enjoy your weird fantasies about how this criminal dreamboat was using his felony weapons to defend innocent kittens before coming home to cuddle with you and those kittens.

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