Monday, June 9, 2014

The Hole Story

"2 Dead, Several Injured After Phone Falls Into Toilet"
I saw the headline while scrolling through news and social media on my phone, and, understandably, I assumed it was from The Onion. But later, I learned this was not a caustic and witty commentary on our society's gross dependence on cell phones. Tragically it is a REAL headline describing a bizarre and horrific true story from China.
Here's what happened. A woman dropped her cell phone into an open pit toilet in the Henan provence in China. Her gallant husband then jumped into the pit filled with feces and urine to collect it for her. The smell in the cesspool was so bad, he passed out. His mother, who was with them, was so concerned for her son, who was now unconscious in a cesspool, that she jumped in as well to rescue him (and the phone.) She passed out too. And apparently, people in China are just way too nice, because this all led to several other people venturing into the stinky pits of fecal despair for this woman's phone.
So all of this culminated with the ridiculous headline above, 2 people dead, and several injured in a cesspool. Because of a phone.
We've all been there and dropped our cell phone in the toilet, off a roof, into a sewer, into the lion's cage...and in that moment of desperation we have all considered getting that phone back no matter the risk. But mostly we calm down and think, "Nope, I'll just get a new one that's not covered in poop or that I have to risk my life to get." Because it's a freakin' cell phone. It's not your child. Remember back in the 80's when Baby Jessica fell into the well? Somehow less people ended up injured or in that well with her than in this cesspool in China getting a cell phone. And she was a non-replaceable baby.
Where is our common sense? Have smart phones really made us so much dumber? How badly do we need to tweet, text, and check in? Did anyone manage to check in from the toilet pit before passing out?
The fact that this tragic disaster in the cesspool occurred is a sign that we need help as society. Ask yourself, would you be willing to wade through a hole of shit to get your phone? If your answer even included a nanosecond of pause for thought, be concerned.

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