Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Trump and Palin Join Forces to Lead the Apocalyptic End of Times

I'm not sure why this is being called a "Bombsell Endorsement."
You can't say you didn't see this coming.
But, that doesn't make it any less awful.
Sarah Palin is stumpin for Trumpin.

Inexplicably dressed like Dorothy Zbornak, Palin yips about how great Trump is like she is a yorkie on cocaine. She shouts (Why is she shouting? She has a microphone. Bitch needs to chill.) that Donald Trump will "kick ISIS' ASS!" All the while Trump and his constant duck face stands by gleefully gloating that he is finally unleashing this pound puppy on America. Bringing her out is clearly his eleven o'clock number. Those toddlers in tiaras that he had wearing star spangled tutus and singing patriotic songs that sounded like we are now in North Korea-yeah that was clearly just a starting step to the new level of craziness we will be climbing to.
Maybe all this has been a big staged joke. Maybe Lorne Michaels, NBC, and SNL are in on it. I'm just desperate to find my way out of this wonderland we've fallen into. I mean really Trump and these people who are making him lead in the polls can't possibly  think that when it comes to campaigning he is nailing it? Right? Right!
Obviously anyone with a fucking brain is feeling sick and outraged.
Yep, Palin, you do get one thing right in your "speech." I AM "dog-gone angry." I'm angry that while this is all brilliant stuff for parody, this is real life. And I probably have to give my landlords notice that I will be relocating to another country. It's cold here anyway.
Well, America, I guess it was inevitable. All great civilizations come to an end. One day, thousands of years from now, teenagers will be studying the downfall of the U.S., transcribing our emoji hieroglyphics, and discussing how such a powerful nation came to meet its own demise at the hands of two "reality tv stars."

Also when Palin says "kick ISIS'ASS" all I can hear is the Lily Tomlin speech in the movie "Big Business" where she says she is going to "Raise some hell and kick some snooty New York Ass." That's a great movie. It also stars Bette Midler, who in happier news that gives me something worth living for today announced she is going to be in the Broadway revival of "Hello Dolly."

Just go watch this movie right now. It's so fabulous, it will help you forget or at least cope by reminiscing about the simpler time of shoulder pads.

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