Wednesday, September 25, 2013

This Pumpkin Season Have Your Pants Scared Off

When you walk down the streets, pumpkins crowd the sidewalk outside markets and in every coffee shop and bar pumpkin drinks are pushed. It's definitely fall.

And everyone knows the hallmark of the fall season is Halloween. Though you may be too old to trick or treat, you are never too old to celebrate the holiday-or watch Hocus Pocus a thousand times. And other than the opportunity to unleash your inner slutty with your "costume," the best part of celebrating this holiday is to get scared. Admit it, we all watch horror movies-especially the cheezey ones-and think about what we would do if we were being chased by a homicidal maniac wearing a Porky the Pig mask through an abandoned asylum. The thrill of being scared is strangely exhilarating.
But after a while, the same tricks just don't treat you. There are only so many haunted houses and haunted hayrides you can experience. You know the deal, that poor actor just waiting for his big chance on Broadway who is paying the bills by wearing a Jason mask and slashing a chain saw in your face. Yes, this experience just isn't giving you those thrills it did back in junior high.
Well luckily, there's a new brand of haunted house that is sure to send chills down your spine. Head to Sinking Spring, PA where the town name already creeps me out as my mind jumps to an image of sinkholes. But regardless of that, this town has a "Naked and Scared Challenge" which is a haunted house that from midnight on dares the visitors to get completely naked to experience the walk through total darkness in the house filled with things and characters jumping out at the completely vulnerably naked you. A haunted house after midnight in complete darkness filled with screaming, naked people. Sounds both titillating and terrifying.
Oh, and if naked is just too scary for you, there is a pre-midnight "prude" version where you can wear underwear.
I commend this haunted house's attempt to enter a new frontier in terror. And, according to an interview with its creator in the New York Daily News, I was correct that this venture was inspired by "Naked and Afraid"- the Discovery Channel's summer reality show I was obsessed with which takes two strangers, one male and one female, and places them in an exotic and challenging wilderness survival quest totally naked and with no tools, food, or belongings. Truly terrifying stuff. Being naked in the wilderness or jungle? Nope. Just watch the episode where the woman has her period on a harsh tropic island and is naked, with no food (aka no comfort chocolate), and is with a strange man who spends most of the time whimpering about the sunburn on his privates. This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
Anyway, if you really want to get into the fall spirit, grab your pumpkin spiced latte, get in the car, and road trip to Shocktoberfest in Sinking Springs, PA and scare your pants off-literally. Would make a great date night.

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