Beauty pageants that don't have Honey Boo and tantrums where flippers fall out are as uninteresting to me as sports game matches. But one minute into Donald Trump's Miss Universe and it became clear that this international hooker parade offered something of Olympic proportion with their cultural costumes. Game on, bitches.
Obviously these ladies all robed themselves in gowns featuring subtle, classy nuances that express what makes their homeland unique. Canada really nailed it, eh?
|Scoreboard is the new scrunchie.|
|Good thing her invitation didn't get lost in the mail. I'd hate to think of the wrath she'd have on these other beauties.|
But really, this night was more about feathers than anything. I imagine backstage to have looked like a chicken coup massacre. You had some real fowl play here with:
Jamaica's gay pride turkey
And of course the good ol' USofA really showed how to fly like a patriotic eagle.
But beyond the feathers, there were also some interesting use of props/accessories.
Bolivia wielded a glittery nerf sword.
|You ain't never had a friend like me.|
While Hungary had a tiny little stuffed bunny.
|I watched a "My Strange Obsession" about this kind of thing once.|
But at least she tried. Some girls seemed to miss the memo.Like Miss Israel
And Miss Croatia who bought her dress at Forever 21.
Or that bitch from France who just threw on a beret with her ball gown because she is above all this.
And of course for all those who tried hard to resist this nonsensical push to be turned into a live action "It's a Small World" doll, there were several poor girls who ended up looking like the slutty Halloween costume version of their nationality.
And then there was the inexplicable and confusing multicultural muumuu from Korea.
Pretty much everyone of these stereotypical costumes bordered on offensive.
There were some crazy, beautiful, cool looks that could make for some fierce America's Next Top Model high fashion photo shoots. I'd rate my top three smize-worthy as
The Venzuela tree
And this prehistoric party from El Salvador
Yes, Miss Universe was truly pageantry at its finest.
Other than the costumes, I'd have to say the other big highlight for the evening was Miss Columbia (spoiler alert: the winner) saying that she wanted to pursue business so she could "produce and export Columbian products" thus confirming my suspicion that these girls are as smart as they are stylish.