Tuesday, September 9, 2014

It's the Great Gross Pumpkin

I am still clinging to summer. It is warm enough out and we have a long winter ahead of us. Why rush? I hate when September hits and everyone pushes into fall, or even worse-the holidays. It fills me with sadness. It is like seeing a child acting like a grown up. Carefree childhood, like the heat of summer, is the shortest most magical time, everyone should cling to it, because we have so much more time to wear coats and worry.
But, thanks to the bizarre obsession with freaking pumpkin spice, everyone is all about fall.
You can get pumpkin everything. But do you really need to?
Honestly, I'm not a fan of pumpkin. Actually the smell of carving a pumpkin at Halloween literally makes me gag. So I just don't get the "basic bitch" obsession with the parade of pumpkin products.
And I'm noticing this year there is even more than the usual latte and candle out there.  Although, we can all breath a sigh of relief that the Durex Pumpkin Spice flavored condoms were in fact an internet hoax. But you can get:

Obviously Pumpkin Pie vodka

Pumpkin Spice Jello Pudding

This is perhaps the most odd of all to me-
Pumpkin Spice Whey Protein Supplement

For gym rats to post pumpkin spice protein shake fall "healthies?" Or this guy? He definitely is into that.

Oh, even your precious pooch get in on the action
With Pumpkin Spice Dog Treats. What the hell?

 Instead of regular buttery spread, you can switch over to this for the season
Country Crock Pumpkin Spice
The worst is you are right now probably thinking how putting Pumpkin Spice spread on your pumpkin muffin or pumpkin bread along with your Pumpkin Spice Latte would be delicious and not at all overkill. Just No.

These might be the most palpable of this crazy pumpkin spice patch-
Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts.

Pumpkin Spice M&Ms

These just look gross. Even the M&M guy on the bag looks upset about this.
Pumpkin Spice Oreos were inevitable
Admittedly, this recipe for brownies with them does seem ok.

Definitely not ok, is smelling like pumpkin wearing this Bath and Body Works Sweet Pumpkin spray.
And worst of all, is going as Pumpkin Spice for Halloween in this ridiculous costume.

All of this pumpkin makes me feel like this:
Let's just please stop this nonsense now.

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