The Plot Thickens

Yesterday in Manhattan a garbage truck hit Katie Holmes and Princess Suri's chauffered Mercedes. Apparently it was a minor accident and Katie and her daughter, who is reportedly enrolled in a Catholic school for the fall, were whisked away from the scene.
Conspiracy theory time! Was Tom and Scientology behind this threat? Or was it just an accident? Tune in next time to "My Life is a Lifetime Movie" to find out.......

Tom Cruise is the New Charlie Sheen

So, I'm going to call this now. Tom Cruise is the new Charlie Sheen. Following the divorce, we are going to have light shed on his previous acts of crazy and see him go on a downward spiral to full on whack-a-doo status ala Charlie Sheen. Mark my words.
We all have known for years that he is a devout Scientologist. But today we are learning that in his 30 years of practicing he has reached a special level that gives him special powers. He can move things with his mind. What?! That's better than having Tiger Blood.
In his advanced level of Scientology, known as an “Operating Thetan” or an “OT," he and the other elites have “complete control over themselves and their environment”.  According to Rolling Stone's investigation, “OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behaviour of, both animals and human beings. At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.”

Sounds like Katie got out just in time. She was probably sick of him controlling her behavior and using his mind to move things all the time. That would get annoying.

And in further defense of my prediction of Tom's entry into Charlie Sheen's Winning Club-remember this?