Meth for the Flu Madness

It's that season again. Anyone who has sat wrapped in a snuggie on their couch suffering through the flu knows that there is not much you can do to feel better. You just have to let it all run it's course and hope there is a good marathon of Law and Order on TV and that you know someone who loves you enough to be willing to brave breathing your contaminated air to come bring you some soup.
There you sit and suffer, only days ago a vibrant, healthy being, now a snotty, coughing mess with dripping eyes framed by dark circles and matted unwashed air. When you catch a glimpse in your bathroom mirror you realize in disgust that in this lowly state you look unmistakably like a meth addict.
Well turns out scientists have discovered that looking like train-wreck Lindsay Lohan while having the flu isn't the only connection between meth and the virus. Researchers in Taiwan published a study this week in PLoS One that methamphetamine may possess flu-fighting properties. They exposed human lung cells to varying quantities meth, then infected them with H1N1 viruses, a common subtype of human influenza and after 30 hours, the meth-treated cells possessed significantly lower concentrations of the virus than the control group did. After 48 hours, the difference was even more pronounced. They concluded this had to do with meth's apparent anti-viral effect occuring during the viral replication that takes place after infection.
But before you go all Breaking Bad and search out Walter White, remember that meth has a ton of outrageously negative effects-such as brain damage, psychosis, heart disease, tooth decay, not to mention it won't make you look any better than when you had the flu. In fact, comparatively, you probably look sexier with the flu.
Like that poor girl from America's Next Top Model with a meth addiction that Dr. Phil dragged out:

Obviously, these scientists are trying to search for safer, structurally similar compounds to meth that could be used to fight the flu.
So stay healthy. But, if you do get the flu, resist temptation to get involved with meth. Though that couch time may be perfect to finally catch up on Breaking Bad on Netflix.

How to Stuff It

I've been flying around a lot this year, and we all know that air travel is just not a great situation. First there is the general fear of flying to deal with. For example- yesterday a plane had to make an emergency landing because they lost an engine. Then beyond the risk of death, there is certain risk of discomforts from bad food, cramped seats, smells, crying babies, delays....But one of the worst parts of flying is packing to fly. There are safety regulations to consider with all that bagging of your tiny amounts of liquids because obviously those of us who barely got a C in high school chemistry would be huge threats capable of turning our mouthwash, perfume, and sunscreen into bombs. There's also the worry that you will be charged extra for having too many bags or that your bag is too heavy to get on the plane. Even though I saw that plane carrying a space shuttle so I can't imagine that my over-packing will take down the plane from it being too heavy. And if you do have to check a bag, it's not irrational to spend most of the flight tense that you will arrive at your destination only to find that your luggage is in Jakarta.
Everytime I'm packing, I find myself wishing I was Merlin in Disney's "Sword in the Stone" and could just do this:

But since most of us can't work magic like Merlin, Engineer John Powers has come up with a solution to our problem-Jaktogo's wearable luggage.

Basically it's a coat or that stylish jumper for women made out of a light but strong polyester that has 14 variously-sized pockets which can carry about 30lbs of luggage and then after you board the plane with all your smuggled extra stuff, it can be folded back into a bag. If this incredibly stylish storage bag ensemble is a must have holiday item for you, it can be ordered here for a reasonable $109.99.
Seriously, someone wearing a smuggling coat doesn't look suspicious at all. Going through security x-rays will be a breeze. But if you don't get strip searched and held for questioning as a terrorist, you won't have to pay for that extra bag. 

Barack to Reality

So in case you missed me terribly and were craving your cheeze and whine....I'm back! I was on vacation in Florida.

It was all sunshine and strawberry daquiri's. Kind of nice to power out for a bit during the last few days of what has been a crazy election season and a busy time for me personally. And I thought maybe it would be nice to get some color before the snow came and I just blend in to that. (Not that I wanted to be Mitt-faced orange either.) But Florida is not a great place to be a liberal in election season. Romney ads rule the airwaves as do huge Romney billboards and Republican rants can constantly be overheard poolside. (But I'd like to point out that Romney lost Florida despite all that!)
So my plane landed back here in the cold Tuesday and I rushed off to cast my vote and hope for the best as it was certainly going to be a long election night. But despite some nail biting moments where it was neck and neck, it was all over relatively quickly.
Obama! And his victory speech reminded everyone just why it's easy to love this man and his family and be inspired by the hope he stands for. And maybe it was the weekend in sunshine, but for a moment I'm feeling optimistic.

Sandy hits NYC-Who Ya Gonna Call?

I hope everyone in Sandy's path is safe now. Things got pretty crazy in NYC. And looking at all these images, I can't help but think I've seen this all before. Then I realized- this Halloween Frankenstorm seems to fittingly be eerily reminiscent of the movie Ghostbusters. See below.

This is the Ghostbuster's building exploding after that dick from the EPA who is aptly-named Pecker blows up their ghost containment unit.

This is a ConEd explosion in lower Manhattan yesterday during the storm.

This is the sky as the demons unleash on Manhattan in Ghostbusters.

This is equally foreboding sky last night in Manhattan during the storm.

Here is marshmallow goo gushing through the streets and covering cars in Ghostbusters.

Here is water gushing through the streets and covering cars in the financial district yesterday.

Pretty uncanny. Seriously. I half expect to open up my fridge and find Zuul.

So remember, if there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?

THESE GUYS!

The Best Response to Ann Coulter's Tweet

Shame on you Ann Coulter.
Normally, I am successfully able to pretend she doesn't exist and all-together avoid hearing her conservative blabbing. But this can't be ignored.
During the debate, Ann Coulter tweeted this (and try to contain your shock that I am going to point out that this is yet another example of that twittersphere causing twouble with a "tragic tweet of hate")

That's right-she just called our President a "retard." Obviously offensive on so many levels and I don't even know how to respond to such a mean-spirited and hateful comment. But John Franklin Stephens, a 30 year old man and Special Olympic athlete with Down syndrom, did.
He wrote an eloquent, heart-felt letter to Ann Coulter that puts this bitch in her place.
He writes via a Special Olympics blog

Dear Ann Coulter,
Come on Ms. Coulter, you aren’t dumb and you aren’t shallow. So why are you continually using a word like the R-word as an insult?
I’m a 30 year old man with Down syndrome who has struggled with the public’s perception that an intellectual disability means that I am dumb and shallow. I am not either of those things, but I do process information more slowly than the rest of you. In fact it has taken me all day to figure out how to respond to your use of the R-word last night.

He then goes on to say

Well, Ms. Coulter, you, and society, need to learn that being compared to people like me should be considered a badge of honor.
No one overcomes more than we do and still loves life so much.
Come join us someday at Special Olympics. See if you can walk away with your heart unchanged.

And he signs it as "A friend you haven't made yet." Amazing.
It's moments like this that I am genuinely reminded how great the human spirit is. We should all work to see the world and love life as John Franklin Stephens does. We should all face adversity and hate with this kind of quiet strength and compassion that he shows through his words. We should all be careful about our words-on twitter and everyday. And Ann Coulter needs to go the corner and think about what she's done until she can use her words properly.

Hot or Not

In case your eyes haven't gotten frozen in an awkward place from all your political eye rolling in the past couple of weeks, UCLA released a study that makes us binders full of women even more objectified.

Their study concluded that women with more stereotypically feminine facial features (aka prettier) were more likely to be be politically conservative (aka Republican.) The study was conducted by surveying undergraduates, having them identify women's political affiliations based on their physical appearance-their literal facial features including shape of jaw line, arch in eye brow, and height of cheekbones.

Alright, several things fundamentally bother me about this study. Why should we even be wondering if Republicans or Democrats are hotter? Or what a Republican looks like? The superficial message this study is telling young women is disgusting. It's not about how you look, it's about what you believe and are passionate about that matter. Young girls and women already feel enough pressure to be pretty, and now this study can lead them to think that political beliefs just fit in as part of the package with the mold of how you look. You shouldn't think that to be considered pretty you are Republican. 

Second, think back to the last election where there were two women representing each party in the limelight. Republican Sarah Palin was getting all sorts of attention for being "hot." Yes, she is an attractive woman, but clearly she was not capable as a world leader. Meanwhile, Democrat Hilary Clinton, a highly educated and intelligent woman, was struggling to get the momentum she needed to get to a national platform, a problem many have often attributed to her "likeability." Beyond her beliefs or personality, was that also regarding her appearance? If this UCLA study is true, we could concur that her look hurt her. The fact that Hilary over the past couple of years has seemed to change-grown her hair out to a more feminine style, began to dress more sharply, all disturbingly imply that we, as a nation, do prefer our political women to be more feminine. Shouldn't Hilary's experience, beliefs, and knowledge be enough? Has she fallen into the trap of competing in a beauty contest as well-becoming a lipstick democrat? But if there are studies like this being done, it's no wonder why that is a pressure for her to feel. It shouldn't matter. A woman in a political position of power should not be the poster hung in a college dorm that boys jerk off to anyway, right? That's just disrespectful. And don't worry, I find it equally offensive when women talk about the "sexy" Paul Ryan muscles. I would have at least struggled less with this study if it had studied men as well. Do we think male Republicans are more attractive? If we are going to go there, let's play a game of marry, boff, kill with Clinton, Obama, and Romney. Come on ladies, that's a no brainer!

In an election where women's issues and choices really matter, this study seems to take us all back to a time where women had no rights but the right to look pretty. Corsets and petticoats have gone the way of horses and bayonets. So too should the idea that what women look like matters, let alone make their political beliefs predictable. Don't judge the book by it's cover. Seriously, just think, 50 Shades of Gray has a quite boring cover.

The Dream of the 90's

I've been thinking a lot lately about the dream of the 90's and why it seems to be considered the Camelot years for people in my age group. Maybe it is because we were young so already the world was less jaded and idealism seemed natural. Maybe it was because the economy was strong and Clinton was playing a sax and eating Big Macs. Maybe it was because it was a pre-9/11 world where there seemed less to fear. But for whatever reason, the 90's are being regarded as a great era. And I've noticed a lot of fashion trends from the 90's coming back-printed denim, platform shoes, plaid. I just wish I hadn't thrown away my sweet blue Doc Martins.


Now, during this rough election season, where idealism seems like it can no longer exist, hop aboard my magic time machine and revisit some of my favorite things of from a simpler time that will fill you with nostalgia, make you feel like the grunge-wearing giddy Clintonista you once were, and also probably make you feel old.

Stop! Hammer Time! Parachute pants for everyone!

Go paint your nails a shimmery pastel with Hard Candy nail polish and then sport the plastic matching ring. This way when you say "Talk to the hand" you look pretty too.

Tune into Bill Nye the Science Guy and forget that he is now at the center of major science and political discussions with his beliefs on evolution and his push to get money for the space program. Just sit back and watch in wonder as he dazzles you simply with quirky science.

Go dial up and check your AOL mail and send some flirty instant messages. Who needs twitter, texting, or facebook?

Before we were all looking for Osama Bin Laden, we were all spending obsessive amounts of time looking for this sassy lady in her red trench coat. And remember that awesome Rockapella theme song? Forget those kids on Glee-these guys rocked.

Make a mix tape! Record your favorites off the radio and spend hours with your dual tape deck creating the perfect mix to listen to in the car or on your Walkman. And of course don't discredit this as the perfect gift for that special someone. I still have all the awesome mixtapes made for me. I just wish I had my Boombox to play them on. Sometimes it's just a listen to Meredith Brooks' "Bitch" kind of day.

This is what used to come to mind as a binder. There was only one woman involved. Lisa Frank. Let's keep it that way.

Tune into TV like you mean it. Because there is no DVR or Netflix. Sure you can pop in a spare VHS and record it, but what are you going to talk about tomorrow if you missed what the gang was up to on Seinfeld. It's Must See TV! And there's no shame in being dateless on a Friday night. Luckily TGIF offered you Urkel and Dinosaurs to keep you laughing and part of a perfect wholesome family while you were alone the couch.

This is what a financial investment looks like. Owning these is as good as a 401K. This could be your education, your first home. Garcia Bear Beenie Baby has street cred. Get it straight. Enron went belly up because of Beenie Babies. Seriously they are what backs the American dollar instead of gold. These had to have been the root of the great economy. If Beenie Babies come back, so will a better economy. Simple.

This is your power couple. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. The Beckhams are a distant thing of the future. Kim and Kanye's matching outfits of today have nothing on these guys in their cool blue denim and denim looks. Their deep love can't possibly be a one hit wonder. 

You let everyone know you have a cool and classy pad by having this Big Mouth Billy Bass fish on your wall start singing Take Me to The River. It really gets the party started and your guests marvel at the life like technology.

As the President slams down his Big Mac, you feel no guilt wanting Taco Bell because of these amazing ads. Who cares that an obesity problem is looming, super size me! Bloomberg can't stop me.