Barack to Reality

So in case you missed me terribly and were craving your cheeze and whine....I'm back! I was on vacation in Florida.

It was all sunshine and strawberry daquiri's. Kind of nice to power out for a bit during the last few days of what has been a crazy election season and a busy time for me personally. And I thought maybe it would be nice to get some color before the snow came and I just blend in to that. (Not that I wanted to be Mitt-faced orange either.) But Florida is not a great place to be a liberal in election season. Romney ads rule the airwaves as do huge Romney billboards and Republican rants can constantly be overheard poolside. (But I'd like to point out that Romney lost Florida despite all that!)
So my plane landed back here in the cold Tuesday and I rushed off to cast my vote and hope for the best as it was certainly going to be a long election night. But despite some nail biting moments where it was neck and neck, it was all over relatively quickly.
Obama! And his victory speech reminded everyone just why it's easy to love this man and his family and be inspired by the hope he stands for. And maybe it was the weekend in sunshine, but for a moment I'm feeling optimistic.

Hot or Not

In case your eyes haven't gotten frozen in an awkward place from all your political eye rolling in the past couple of weeks, UCLA released a study that makes us binders full of women even more objectified.

Their study concluded that women with more stereotypically feminine facial features (aka prettier) were more likely to be be politically conservative (aka Republican.) The study was conducted by surveying undergraduates, having them identify women's political affiliations based on their physical appearance-their literal facial features including shape of jaw line, arch in eye brow, and height of cheekbones.

Alright, several things fundamentally bother me about this study. Why should we even be wondering if Republicans or Democrats are hotter? Or what a Republican looks like? The superficial message this study is telling young women is disgusting. It's not about how you look, it's about what you believe and are passionate about that matter. Young girls and women already feel enough pressure to be pretty, and now this study can lead them to think that political beliefs just fit in as part of the package with the mold of how you look. You shouldn't think that to be considered pretty you are Republican. 

Second, think back to the last election where there were two women representing each party in the limelight. Republican Sarah Palin was getting all sorts of attention for being "hot." Yes, she is an attractive woman, but clearly she was not capable as a world leader. Meanwhile, Democrat Hilary Clinton, a highly educated and intelligent woman, was struggling to get the momentum she needed to get to a national platform, a problem many have often attributed to her "likeability." Beyond her beliefs or personality, was that also regarding her appearance? If this UCLA study is true, we could concur that her look hurt her. The fact that Hilary over the past couple of years has seemed to change-grown her hair out to a more feminine style, began to dress more sharply, all disturbingly imply that we, as a nation, do prefer our political women to be more feminine. Shouldn't Hilary's experience, beliefs, and knowledge be enough? Has she fallen into the trap of competing in a beauty contest as well-becoming a lipstick democrat? But if there are studies like this being done, it's no wonder why that is a pressure for her to feel. It shouldn't matter. A woman in a political position of power should not be the poster hung in a college dorm that boys jerk off to anyway, right? That's just disrespectful. And don't worry, I find it equally offensive when women talk about the "sexy" Paul Ryan muscles. I would have at least struggled less with this study if it had studied men as well. Do we think male Republicans are more attractive? If we are going to go there, let's play a game of marry, boff, kill with Clinton, Obama, and Romney. Come on ladies, that's a no brainer!

In an election where women's issues and choices really matter, this study seems to take us all back to a time where women had no rights but the right to look pretty. Corsets and petticoats have gone the way of horses and bayonets. So too should the idea that what women look like matters, let alone make their political beliefs predictable. Don't judge the book by it's cover. Seriously, just think, 50 Shades of Gray has a quite boring cover.

Collect All! The 2012 Election Shopping Bonaza

As a nation right now we are thrust deep into the bowels of this 2012 Presidential election, so we have to be prepared for lots of crap. Here's a sampling of some of the best crap you can collect. I'm sure much of it will be like a Beenie Baby with a tag on it and be speculated to be of value on ebay for years to come.
Not to mention how cool will you look proudly erecting your political stance with an Obama or Romney condom.

Don't forget to collect some of these Cat Lovers for Obama buttons from the DNC to pin on the collars of your feline friends.

And show your support with your smell by slathering on these lotions from bliss:

Or how about bringing the excitement of the race home when you wind these little guys up to have a poop-off!

And why not roll out some of this while we are on the topic of poopers.......

 

This election has you really chewed up? Have a piece of this:

 Now this is just horrifying, but if you are into that kind of thing go ahead and "visit his oval office."

Mitt Romney flip flops are not surprisingly an actual thing

And we know that from the Romney Irish Setter incident, that all dogs will be barking for Barack.

Now if all this nonsense leads you to drinking, just sit back and enjoy a super pack of "alection"

*It's also worth checking out the candidates official shops on their websites for all your political gifting from slogan t-shirts to grill spatulas and beach towels.

Romney Wins Roach Race 2012

 The cockroach representing Republican candidate Mitt Romney won in the 16th Running of the Roaches Presidential Cockroach Derby hosted by the New Jersey Pest Management Association at Rutgers. Every four years, the organization picks two Madagascar hissing cockroaches to stand in for the Republican and Democratic nominees and races them on a three-foot-long track. To distinguish which roach is which and make this even more ridiculous, they each wear a tiny caricature of the candidate they represent taped to their backs.
What does this race have to do with November's election? Well, of the 16 elections they have represented in roach races, the outcome has correctly predicted the results 84% of the time. So apparently cockroaches are political prognosticators like the groundhogs are for weather?
The punch-line comparisons between cockroaches and politicians seem endless. Leonard Douglen, association executive director of the NJPMA, even said that there were parallels between these pests and their politicians. When the roaches were loaded onto the track, the Obama roach leaned to the left. An onlooker to the race also commented that during the event, the Romney roach was "flip-flopping" as he attempted to climb back onto the track and head in the other direction.
You can watch the race and hear the droll pest/politician slams here:

 

So we'll see come November if these creepy, crawly critters correctly predicted a new pest in the White House. But Obama, I wouldn't let this race bug you out.

Four More Beers!

Well Obama has yet to get that mo-bama-hawk, but he is buying rounds of beers at pubs and state fairs and sitting and having talks with the voting public with his drink in hand. It was even confirmed by an official this week that the Obamas have their own beer made and kept in stock at the White House. The beer, named White House Honey Ale, comes in both a light and dark variety. The honey for the beer is taken from first lady Michelle Obama's garden beehive.
Who wouldn't want to sit and have a beer with the President? And that may be exactly what his campaign is thinking. Perhaps all this talk of Bama-brew is part of the President's campaigning efforts against his Republican opponent Mitt Romney, who doesn't drink for religious reasons. So if you do like a cold beer, Obama's your guy. You know what they say, "never trust a man who doesn't drink."

Mo-bama-hawk

Undoubtedly by now you heard about the adorable dude at NASA with the mohawk who worked on the Curiosity Mission Operation on Mars last week. His real name is Bobak Ferdowsi and he is a 2003 graduate of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and a systems engineer at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. And since appearing on national television broadcasts of the Mars landing with his patriotic maroon-tinted mohawk with stars shaved into the side, he has become a twitterlebrity and has single handedly made science look sexier than ever.
He has even earned the respect of President Obama who gave him a shout out when calling NASA's Mars science laboratory on Monday referring to him as the "special mohwak man." The President complimented the team not only on their success and efforts with the Mars landing, but also on the improved fashion of the scientists saying "It does sound like NASA has come a long way from the white shirt, black dark-rimmed glasses and pocket protectors.You guys are a little cooler than you used to be." 
Obama then admitted that he has wanted to get a mohwak himself but his team for some reason discourages him! But with Ferdowsi's new notoriety and even marriage proposals stemming from his punky do, the President said "I think that I'm going to go back to my team and see if it makes sense." 
Yes, Obama, it would. This would be the haircut that would change everything. Not Miley Cyrus' ridiculous chopped up hair. If Obama got the mohawk he always wanted it would be a game changer for the election, I guarantee it. Especially when it comes to rallying the young voters that were so inspired and enthusiastic about this man who promised change in 2008 to do that once again. This change would make him a little cooler like he used to be. Mo-bama-hawk 2012.

Can't you picture decades from now this mohawked President image printed on our dollars?

Romney Picks Ryan Out of the Political Nose

Meet the new guy: Paul Ryan. The Republican from Wisconsin was announced as Mitt Romney's running mate at the end of last week. And this is what's wrong with media. Before I knew anything about him politically, I heard that he had big baby blue eyes and hair like Eddie Munster.
But then I heard about his deep connection to Ayn Rand whose work allegedly inspired him to get into politics and I started to become concerned. He has even been quoted as saying that he gives out "Atlas Shrugged" as Christmas gifts. Actually, given the fact that he is such an Ayn Rand fan, I'm surprised he gives out Christmas gifts at all seeing as Rand's philosophy is that selfishness is a virtue and altruism and Christianity are evils. (Ryan is on record that he does not with agree with Rand's atheist beliefs, but still....)
Further research into who this man is leads me to learn things even more disturbing including his stand against gay marriage, the fact that he is extremely and proudly anti-choice, and he has an economic plan called "The Path to Prosperity" that seems to really only lead to prosperity for the already prosperous.
And then Sarah Palin endorsed him on facebook. Maybe they're hunting buddies. I saw a bunch of pictures of Ryan in camouflage holding his hunting gun and various conquests including deer and turkeys that weren't helping me like him any more.
Alright, so now we'll just wait and see how the campaign trail bromance between Romney and Ryan blossoms and where the chaos takes them. Unlike Romney, Ryan is a great public speaker who does have a likability factor (I even read he was voted "Biggest Brown Noser" in high school) so this should be interesting. Bring it with your baby blues Paul Ryan. Game on.

And side note: If actor Matthew Morrison (Glee) knows what's good for him, he'd start practicing a Paul Ryan impression for SNL.

And speaking of Ayn Rand and politics, I can't help but think of a droll and intelligent play I workshopped a while back at Where Eagles Dare Theatre by N. G. McClernan that was built around her political and socio-economic beliefs. Here's a clip from the show in which I'm also ironically channeling Sarah Palin in looks: