Liar Liar

This is really a cautionary tale.
If you are anything like me, as soon as you see those red and blue swirling lights in your rear view mirror and hear the ominous 'whoop whoop,' your mind begins turning as you concoct your plan of defense in dealing with the officer who is about to ticket you.
Well, apparently, when spinning your web of lies, keep in mind that you are not dealing with Chief Wiggum:

Or any of these guys.
Because you certainly don't want to end up like Carley Williams of New Hampshire who lied to the state trooper who pulled her over for going 82mph in a 65mph zone. She told Trooper Christopher Cummings that she was speeding to get to her dying father's bedside in the hospital. And maybe this young woman should have considered a career in acting, because her performance was so convincing that the trooper said "She seemed pretty emotional. It made me believe this person was legitmately telling the truth." But despite this and his decision to let her go on her rushed way, Trooper Cummings must have still had some shadow of doubt about the veracity of her crocodile tears. Or maybe it is his experience from years on the force of being lied to. But whatever it was, he listened to that nagging inner voice and called the hospital she claimed she was headed to and asked if her father was there. He of course wasn't. He then found out from further investigating, that her father had died already-in 2008!
And in his background digging on this manipulative ticket evader, he discovered that her vehicle registration was suspended-a misdemeanor-so fueled by the anger of being duped and his civic duty to get justice, he headed to her house and confronted her with father's death certificate. Trapped in her lies, Carley Williams, of course lied more because if at first you don't deceive, lie, lie again. She tried saying that was her uncle who had died in 2008, but after being arrested and charged with speeding and driving with a suspended registration, she finally came clean and put an end to this ruse.
What a mess. Like I said, this is really a cautionary tale. And one that makes me miss that reality TV show Speeders-it was like Cops but just focused on driving infractions and the excuses people came up with. It was amazing. Incidentally, according to an Insurance.com survey published in April, these are the most common things said in the heat of the moment when pulled over for speeding:

10. My GPS said it was the right thing to do

 9. I was on my way to an emergency
8. I didn't do anything dangerous
7. I had to go to the bathroom
6. I missed my turn/exit
5. I'm having an emergency situation in my car
4. Everyone else was doing it
3. I didn't know I broke the speed limit
2. I'm lost and unfamiliar with the roads

1. I couldn't see the sign telling me not to do it

I have to say, I think I usually have gone with number 3, the classic "I didn't know I was speeding." And then I bat my eyes seductively-which doesn't work too well. The officer then asks me if I have something in my eye, and rather than taking that as a route to a good new part of the excuse, I sheepishly say no and just take my ticket.

But clearly that is better than turning to the Excuses Excuses Defense and conjuring up a sob story about a dying family member or anything that they can use their cop training to track.